


a broken teacup

by Romennim



Series: The Big Short [10]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Timelines, Despair, Desperation, Gen, Heavy Angst, M/M, Season/Series 03, Temporary Character Death, Time Travel, Timelines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-04
Updated: 2016-12-04
Packaged: 2018-09-06 13:40:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8754169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Romennim/pseuds/Romennim
Summary: People should never mess with timelines.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This story doesn't end happily. You have been warned.
> 
> Written for the prompt "desperation" for The Big Short Challenge on Rough Trade.
> 
> Betaed by the lovely ladychild.

It took Barry a while to understand just how things could change in the timeline now that his mother was alive. At first, he’d just been too happy to be with his parents and bask in their love for him and their love for each other. Only then, when he’d finally felt like he could wake up and not worry that he’d imagine the whole thing, he’d started looking for the others. He had known that he would probably had to begin all his relationships anew. In this new timeline he had had no reason to meet Cisco or Caitlin. Hell, he hadn’t even known Iris! Not in any way that mattered anyway.

He’d been ready to do whatever he had to, to gain again the trust of many people and their friendships. What he had not been prepared for was to find out that one person was already dead.

Len. Len, in this new reality where Barry’s mother was alive and well, had died more than fourteen years ago.

Barry had almost collapsed when he’d seen Len’s file in the CCPD archives.

Dead in a car accident, saving another person.

And the kick? The kick was that Len had died to save Nora Allen from a drunk driver. Barry didn’t remember that afternoon of fourteen years ago, when his mother had come home from the hospital with just a cast around her arm, his father still shaken by the call they’d received from the hospital. Barry didn’t remember such a pivotal day. Not yet at least. But Len was dead. Dead, and wasn’t it ironic that it was all because Barry’s mother had been alive to be saved?

Barry wanted to scream. How. How?? And more importantly why. Why did the universe hate him so?

Unbidden, the words of the Speed Force came back to him. He should have learned to accept loss. He should have thought about the fact that changing the timeline wouldn’t just bring good things to him. In a way Len was dead because of him. Barry had killed the person he loved because he’d been unable to stop himself from abusing his powers for his own purposes.

Oh sure, maybe he’d been overwhelmed by grief when he’d taken the jump, but that didn’t excuse him. He had known even then that he shouldn’t use his powers for his own gain. Once you cross a certain line, you don’t stop, because you have no limits anymore. Barry had definitely crossed that line, but the universe had been there to remind him that he shouldn’t have, that there were consequences from his actions, and Len was dead. _Len was dead_.

Well, it was time to fix his mistakes.

***

Saying goodbye to his parents was agonizing. Freeing Eobard was maddening, but at least Barry knew the bastard was going to get what he deserved.

He and Eobard ran. Nora Allen died once again in her own home and everything was back.

***

It didn’t take Barry long to understand some things were not as he remembered them. Iris not talking to Joe, Cisco glaring at him every time Barry stepped into the same room as him.

Nora Allen might be dead and everything put back, but it wasn’t the same.

Barry at least thanked whoever watched over him (the Speed Force maybe?) that it seemed like every major event of his life had happened once again.

And Len was alive, at least according to the police. When Barry had asked Caitlin, the woman had looked at him bewildered, but told him that as far as they all knew Snart was on a quest to save the world from an immortal. Barry breathed a sigh of relief.

***

As the time went on, Barry started to forget what was different, what events had happened and then not. What he didn’t forget was his relationship with Len and that made him confident that things had happened the same way.

Then, one day, an alarm blared through S.T.A.R. labs. The cold gun had been fired and Barry, heart in his throat, flashed away.

The Snart siblings were robbing a jewelry store and Barry smiled, hearing the news from Cisco. Just like old times.

He ran, taking them by surprise, and stopped in front of Len. Before the man could say anything, Barry stepped forward at normal speed and hugged the hell out of him. Len froze against him, and that... _that_ wasn’t right: Lisa knew, so why didn’t Len-

Then the familiar sensation of forgetting something hit him, making him dizzy. He collapsed with all his body’s weight against Len and only Len’s fast reflexes kept him upright.

“Everything all right, Scarlet?” the man asked, but it was _wrong_. Where was the warmth, the affection for Barry that Len never suppressed in front of his sister?

Captain Cold, Barry suddenly realized in shock, was peering down at him and the man was concerned, but in the way someone would be if a stranger collapsed against them.

Oh God, they weren’t together and never have been, Barry frantically thought. Then another, terrible thought came to him and the desperation in its wave was something he’d never felt before, not even when he’d found out Len was dead, because then, then, Barry had believed he could do something to fix it.

But now he knew he couldn’t. The first timeline where he and Len had fallen in love was gone forever. _His_ Len was gone forever. And if Barry didn’t do something soon (and who knew what), soon even his memories of their love was going to disappear forever.

And who knew if they were going to have another chance, if Barry was going to have the willingness to try, once his memories were gone?

The thought was too much for Barry and he collapsed at Len- _Captain Cold’s_ feet and started weeping, desperation and grief finally overwhelming him.


End file.
